Faux Hair Guide to Color

So you’ve decided to come over to the dark, I mean *fabulous* side – and buy your first wig/topper/etc.  So many options! You’ve selected a piece that you think will reflect your style, but now you have to choose the color. 1BRH30, 12/30BT, 24BT18S8, EXCUSE ME?!  What language is this?! And how can I possibly choose the color from a TINY little thumbnail?! HELPPP!

(If you’re ADHD like me and don’t want to read – scroll down for my cheat sheet PDF at the bottom)

Don’t worry, I am here to help. I’ve been where you are. Let’s break this down.

There are six main color families in the world of faux hair. (Now if your dream wig is in some odd color like green – you’re on your own here boo.  These are “hair” colors).

• Black: 1-2

• Brown: 4-12

• Blonde: 14-26

• Red: 27-33, 130-134

• Grey: 34-60

• Platinum: 101-104, 613

Now here’s where it gets interesting. When you start adding in various blends, shading, rooting, highlights, ombre or tipped styles – the codes can get a little bit… complicated.

Here’s a handy dandy little chart from Jon Renau to break this down. Note, not every manufacturer codes their shades this way, but generally speaking the main color codes at the top of this post are quite standard. For example a 4 will always be a dark brown, never a blonde, etc.  So here’s the chart:

And here’s my advice to you:

Choose a color family first, understand what the gist of the color code means. Then go on google image search and do a search for that specific color code. Do the same on YouTube. You will get a ton of search results, photos of that color in multiple lighting sessions, YouTube reviews, etc. Even if the specific wig or topper style is not the one pictured – you’re worried about the color.  Take note.

If you’re shopping for blondes, take note of whether a warm blonde or cool blonde suits your skin tone. So you don’t look washed out like Kim K. when she went platinum – yikes!

Another thing you can do is buy a color ring. Most people don’t do this, because you get a slice of hair, but when you read what I am about to mention below, this will be a life saver.

Here’s a surprising fact for you…

The same shade can look pretty dang different based on the fiber. Here’s an example of Jon Renau 14/26S10: Human Hair on the left, and synthetic hair on the right – both in the SAME COLOR.

Mind blown, I know.

Here’s the deal. A royal blue silk blouse will not look exactly the same as a royal blue flannel T-shirt. It’s a difference in the fiber.  Generally speaking, the human hair pieces will appear lighter than their synthetic equivalents, and this includes the rooting. Human hair will also appear warmer than synthetics. Heat defiant shades also present warmer. So here’s a list of the most popular JR shades and how they present in different fibers. Keep this in mind when you buy hair.  This will save you frustration!

Other considerations:

If you’re new to wearing hair and are concerned about people “noticing” your hair, choose a shade that’s close to your bio hair. Rooted shades also add to the realism, especially if you’re like me (a Latina) trying to pull off a platinum blonde. 🙂

If your goal is to DYE the human hair wig – start with a Jon Renau RN (Renau Naturals) color. Or if you’re going with a different brand – choose a shade that is as LEAST processed as possible. Why? Jon Renau standard human hair shades are colored using textile dyes to ensure they don’t fade. While this is cool regarding the no fading issue – you’re going to be in a world of hurt trying to dye a piece that won’t predictably darken or lighten.  So save yourself the trouble and buy a Renau Naturals piece first. And realize that these can be lightened or darkened (deposited or lifted) 3 levels. If you’re doing some crazy colors, for instance a pink wig, start with the lightest color first. It’s always easier on the hair to deposit color than to lift it.

I hope that helps!

Here’s a PDF cheat sheet I made for you, feel free to save/print/etc.

Faux Hair Color Cheat Sheet

 

Thanks for Reading!

 

**Note: I am an education ambassador for Jon Renau. Jon Renau team provides education and materials so that I can share that expertise and knowledge with my audience.

Blog Posts may contain affiliate links for Amazon. This helps me keep the blog up and running at no cost to you.

No Meal Prep? Now What?

I am hesitant to share things that I am doing or plan to do before I can actually see first hand if they work. I always want to be the guinea pig. However my last post regarding Ditching Meal Prep really sparked a lot of comments on my Instagram.  A lot of you had questions regarding how I plan to eat if I don’t meal prep. So here’s the deal:

• My primary focus is shifting to making good choices, consistently, intuitively. Eating tasty things that align with my goals and finding fun ways to move.
• Being 2.5+ years out from bariatric surgery and having educated myself as much as possible about food and nutrition, I am confident in my ability to choose and prepare foods that are good for me.
• Does ditching meal prep mean that I’ll never cook? No! I love cooking and I will actually end up cooking more fresh food.
• Will you pack a lunch to work?  It depends! If I happen to have leftovers from dinner or something tasty in my fridge, I may bring it to work. Or I may just go grab something. That’s the beauty of it – going with the flow.
• What about tracking and counting calories/macros/carbs/etc?  This is part of the diet mentality that I am wanting to move away from. Instead I will eat veggies, some fruit, meat, seafood, nuts and seeds, some dairy, and good oils/fats.  So mostly low carb, but not counting carbs.
• Will my Instagram content change? Nope! I’ll still continue to post what I eat and any new recipes I find or create.
• If this doesn’t work and I end up gaining weight – then I will change gears.
• What about exercise? I suck at getting regular exercise and I am the first to admit it.   Gyms give me major anxiety.  I’m still working on that. But for now the plan is to keep up with walks, get to the gym when I can, and do my sauna sessions at home.
• Do I have to do this too? Nope. The best plan is the one that works for YOU.
• What am I hoping to accomplish from switching to intuitive eating?  Less stress, more flexibility with my food options, listening to and respecting my body, and hopefully some better results.

DEPRESSION: How I am crawling out of it one day at a time

You know the feeling. It’s a sensation of pressure on your chest, a lump in your throat, a deep dark hole you fall into. And when you’re in it – you feel like you’ll never be able to find your way out.  Something is wrong – and you can’t quite put your finger on what it is. You’ve forgotten about the things that bring you joy, and if you remember what they are – you don’t care enough to do them anymore.  You let go of your self care routine – life is about getting through the day.  Trust me – I’ve been there. 

I am describing how I felt for the last six weeks. I was in a dark place that I never thought I’d ever crawl out of, and I thought I was on the verge of losing myself.  It all started after a lengthy bout of stress at my day job – the feeling of complete overwhelm morphed into depression.  I visited my psychiatrist and asked for help – and he referred me to therapy in lieu of medication since I don’t react well to SSRIs. Due to some financial constraints (boo crappy health insurance) I haven’t been able to make my first appointment yet, but I have managed to shift things in a different direction in just a short time, and here is how:

I stacked positive experiences and habits.

I opened up to a friend I trusted. This was the last thing I wanted to do, to admit to someone in my circle that I was feeling – sad. Verbalizing the way I was feeling helped me gain some self-perspective on the situation. And the knowledge that my friend had my back made me feel good.  If you do this, make sure that you open up to a friend who you trust – who can relate to your circumstances. There are people in my life who would just tell me to “suck it up”, these are not the types of people you want to open up to. Find someone with a kind and patient ear.

I started paying attention to the little things I do for SELF CARE. I began documenting little things I was doing on Instagram with the hashtag #SELFCAREIS. Self Care Is: going for a walk out in nature with the pup, taking some pretty pictures of flowers, cooking a healthy breakfast, putting a mask on your face, giving yourself a pedicure, going to bed at a decent hour, doing some stretches, spending 15 minutes in the sauna, etc.  Don’t worry about going hard on a nutrition or fitness routine right now. Focus on small gestures of love towards yourself. Even the tiniest things can make a profound impact on your mood.

I ate more fruits and veggies (mostly fruits). I will admit I don’t exactly LOVE veggies, but I do eat them and often. Fruit however, is natures candy!  And natural foods are full of vitamins, minerals, phytonutrients, antioxidants, fiber, all the goodies!! I packed my kitchen with my favorites: mangoes, cherries, raspberries, and watermelon! Yum! I never met anyone that didn’t feel good after eating a bowl of bright and colorful fruit.

I filled my mind with the good stuff.  When you’re depressed, your thoughts are toxic.  The narrative in our minds that we’re hopeless, a failure, or not good enough needs to be drowned out by the sound of hope and positivity.  I started searching for “motivational speeches for success in life” on YouTube and it changed my world.  Every single day, I am listening to the words of some inspiring figure – gaining little nuggets of wisdom. Some of my favorites are Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Joe Dispenza, Mel Robbins, Tom Bilyeu, Eric Thomas, Gary Vee, and TD Jakes.  When I’m not listening to motivational speeches, I am listening to podcasts such as Invisibilia, Cut the Fat, Planet Money, and Optimal Living Daily.  Find content that grows you.

I set boundaries with my time. My job stress was overwhelming me. The need to stay late, to come in early, to work on days off – all for unpaid overtime. I realized something very important – I can only do my best in the eight hours I am paid for.  Any work that doesn’t get done today, will still be there tomorrow.  I don’t need to be the best, and I certainly won’t be the worst.  I surrendered to the fact that I might never be perfectly caught up on everything, and that’s okay.  I committed myself to just doing my very best while I was at work, closing that laptop when my shift was over, and going home.

I wrote down the thoughts that paralyzed me. And I listed next to them why my thinking was flawed. For example: “I am afraid my employer will fire me”. This thought would hover over me like a dark cloud all day.  But the honest truth? My performance ratings at work were just fine!  In fact I was exceeding my goals. I was not on the verge of being fired. And I realized that people who do get fired for performance are usually “coached” for months on end before it actually happens.  And if I did lose my job? I’d bust my butt to find a new one! Why use precious mental space worried about this?  My thinking was flawed.

I cleaned up my environment.  While I listened to all the awesome podcasts I downloaded, I did little tasks to “tidy up” around the house.  If I tell myself I am CLEANING then forget it – I’m overwhelmed just typing it out. But tidying up, I can do.  Once I got started, it became easier. That cluttered catch-all kitchen table? It’s causing you stress. Physical clutter is stressful, so work on clearing surfaces.  Put stuff away, light a scented candle, and put some fresh sheets on your bed. Again, the smallest things help.

I [tried to] meditate.  Meditation is hard if you have a mind that races all the time. But if you can at least try it out, it may have some benefits for you. My idea of meditating is lighting a scented candle, plopping myself on the sofa, and staring up at the flickering shadows of candlelight at the ceiling – and focusing on my breathing.  Maybe for you, meditating is going to the park, sitting on a bench, and watching the trees sway in the wind. Find quiet moments in your day. Even if it means going out to your car during your lunch break to just CHILL and get away for a bit.

I washed my face and made my bed.  I made it a point to do my skincare routine every night before bed.  It felt refreshing and I felt I was doing something good for myself.  And in the mornings, I made my bed. Not the fancy comforter with the stacked pillows and all that – I just neatly folded my blanket and fixed my pillows. It immediately gave me a sense of control.  Part of the reason why we get depressed is because we feel a lack of control in our lives.  Little things such as making sure the kitchen sink is emptied and clean before going to bed, straightening out the throw pillows on your sofa, and putting your dirty clothes in the hamper make such a difference.

… My list is growing every single day.  This is not a battle that I have beaten. However I can tell you that just doing the things listed above have resulted in a definite shift in my mood, and the feeling in my chest is gone. The lump in my throat isn’t there anymore. I feel a defined sense of calm and peace again.  Remember, I am not a professional – just a real human who battles depression. These are little things that worked for me – I encourage you to seek professional help if you’re feeling down. xo

 

Why I’m Ditching Meal Prep

 

Meal Prep. You can’t go on Instagram these days without seeing posts of perfectly portioned food containers laid out on a countertop with little bits of chicken, sweet potato, and broccoli.  There is a sense of pride one feels after posting a photo of your week’s meals, ready to be stacked inside the refrigerator.  You feel accomplished because you adulted, like the fitness gurus.

Unfortunately, life isn’t a perfect Instagram picture. Sometimes, we just don’t feel like eating that grilled chicken or broccoli for the 4th day in the row, and frankly – IT DOESN’T TASTE AS GOOD. I don’t care how delicious the meal is fresh, you’re going to get tired of it.  And some of us just don’t like leftovers. Last night (Sunday night), I was so proud of myself. I made a low carb sandwich roll-up thingie using a low carb tortilla, some nitrate free honey ham, mayo and cheese. I placed it into a pyrex container with a side of cherry tomatoes and olives. I packed a bowl of bright and colorful fruits. Something happened between the proud moment I packed that low carb roll-up and when the time came to eat it this afternoon.

I just didn’t feel like eating it.

I looked down at the food, and immediately felt a sense of “blah”. I begrudgingly took a bite of the sandwich and laid it to the side while I worked. I didn’t even finish half of it. I ate a few of the olives and left the cherry tomatoes behind. Where did the food end up? In the trash. I realized something – this happens to me – A LOT. And I feel like a total jerk when I dump the food in the trash. I feel even worse when I don’t meal prep at all, going to work empty handed. Why? I don’t particularly know, because when I go out to eat I make pretty great choices.  I think it stems from a feeling of “failing” as a bariatric patient.

So I decided to do some online research – am I the only person who secretly hates meal prep?  What is wrong with me? Well guess what – a lot of other people hate meal prep too, and there’s actually quite a few trainers and coaches that aren’t a fan of it either.  I breathed a sigh of relief. I am not alone in this growing hatred for leftover food.

And then I started thinking – if I stop beating myself up about meal prepping and just wing it, would it really cost me more money? No – in fact it may cost me less. I work from home two days a week, so that’s only THREE lunches I need to plan for. Cool thing is that my office is located smack dab in the middle of a busy area with tons of food options. I can get a small greek salad one day, a poke bowl another (which is 2 meals in 1 for me), and a Jimmy Johns Unwich on days I don’t feel like going out to get food. There are options. I am good about scrambling up a couple of eggs for breakfast before I run out of the door, and since I actually do enjoy cooking – spending 20 minutes in the evenings preparing a fresh meal is totally fine by me!  Work from home days are chill, I can make fresh food during my workday.

I am a big believer in the notion that the best health plan for you is one that you will follow without struggle, and can be consistent at over a long period of time.  You have to look at your own unique situation. Some people love meal prep. Some people only get 20 minutes for lunch, so they don’t have time to run out for food – so it makes sense to bring something.  You have to find what works for you.  Maybe you hate meal prep too, so instead of cooking in one giant bulk batch for the week, you just make a bigger dinner and eat leftovers the following day.  That way you’re not eating the same thing five days in a row [bleh].

Flexibility is so important – because LIFE happens. Our moods and tastes change. Things come up – maybe a coworker wants to go out to lunch.  Those of us on a fitness and health journey can be far too rigid with ourselves, and for what? Do you get a meal prep award at the end of the year? No! Can you still make gains or lose weight just by making smart decisions when you go out? Absolutely.

Food is fuel, but it’s also meant to be savored and enjoyed – otherwise we wouldn’t have taste buds, amiright?? Meal prep took the pleasure out of eating for me. No matter how creative or tasty the recipe is – I just don’t want it sometimes.  A salad from the Whole Foods salad bar tastes a THOUSAND times better than if I made it at home and it sat in my fridge for a couple days. Our brains are weird. I’m going with the flow now, and enjoying food again.  My days of meal prep are over.

The days of visiting drive-thru’s three times a day are far behind me. But looking forward to getting out of the office for a little while to enjoy a poke bowl with a coworker totally brightens up my day.  So I am hopping off of the hashtag mealprepsunday bandwagon and doing what feels right for me.  I encourage you to forget about what looks good on Instagram and do what’s best for you as well. xo

 

#2018NYCWLSMEETUP Photos!!

***YOU ARE WELCOME TO REPOST BUT PLEASE TAG ME IF I’M IN THE PHOTO***

INFOGRAPHIC: Washing Your Synthetic Wigs

Measuring for Wigs!

I have a new video up on the Tube! It’s funny I have always bought average size wigs, but it was very enlightening to know that I actually have a petite sized head.  In this video I also show you how to measure your cap size even if you have tons of hair.

And you can totally check out my photoshop skills in the video when you see the croissant bun!

Here is the attached chart (courtesy of Jon Renau): 

Products Shown (links are affiliate)
–Jon Renau Alessandra Wig in Cherry Chocolate: http://amzn.to/2FdI82l
–Tape Measure: http://amzn.to/2CYhxjD
–Lipstick: Lipland Montenegro (Amrezy) discontinued
–Concealer: Tarte Shapetape http://amzn.to/2FftmE3
–My Camera Canon G7X: http://amzn.to/2FRupem

 

Finding Your Way Again

You’re on a roll.  You’re meal prepping, you’re going to the gym every single day, your house is clean, you’re keeping up with your social obligations, your skin is amazing. Things are going great at work.

And then it happens.

Life.

You’ve been sucker punched.  Maybe your relationship ends, you have a career setback, a conflict with a friend or family member, an illness, or just a terrible string of bad luck.  You sulk, you cry, you worry, you stress.  You stop meal prepping, you stop going to the gym, you haven’t shaved your legs in weeks, you just don’t care anymore.

I get it. This is me. And I’m trying my very best to snap out of it, to shock the system.

When life catches you on the blind side – you just want to say fuck it – and give up. You want to lay on your sofa, forever, and eat pizza while watching Netflix trying to escape from your reality.

Want to know what will end this terrible cycle of suffering?  Hint: you’re not going to like my answer.

It’s doing the exact things you’ve been avoiding. It’s the self-care. It’s waking up early, cleaning your house, crossing things off your to-do list, dragging your butt to the gym, grocery shopping when you just want to order a pizza, meal prepping, PICKING YOURSELF UP.  You’re going to feel massively uncomfortable. It’s gonna suck, but once you do it – you suddenly start to feel just a little bit better.

Your discipline muscle is weak.  How do you strengthen it? By working it out, every single day. By making those little decisions to do the things that are difficult, uncomfortable, and scary.  You see, when you’re a kid – it’s your parents job to flex your discipline muscles for you.  As an adult however, that sole responsibility is yours.

I know it sounds counter-intuitive.  If you’re feeling bad – why isn’t moping on your couch with a pint of ice cream considered self care?  Because doing that doesn’t give you a shred of personal power. The reason why you’re feeling this way is because deep down – you feel POWERLESS.  Doing the things you know you must do to reach your goals is your ticket to gaining that power back.  Taking care of your body, your mind, your home, your children, etc – is taking back your power.

I’m not always ready to jump off that couch and start doing things – so I start small.  I will go clean something in my house. It gives me a sense of accomplishment, and I feel better instantly.  I will wash and fold laundry – because having a closet of fresh clean clothes makes me smile. I will paint my toenails, or organize my fridge.  I will take Teddy for a walk.  The point is – do SOMETHING.

Most people float through life just reacting to their emotional state. The successful minority knows that you can actually manage your emotional state – by moving your body and exercising that discipline muscle over and over.  You’re not like everyone else, and you have more power than you realize.  The moment you realize that successful people are really good at doing the things that most people don’t want to do – the sooner you can change your mindset to that of a high achiever.  I’ve said this before on my IG.  No one is going to save you from your sofa. No one is going to fix your problems.  You are responsible for your life, and your body.  It’s time to stop being a victim of the shitty circumstances in your life – and start harnessing your power.

-Rose

Video: Tips for and Caring for Synthetic Wigs

My Impression on Mila:

She’s easy to wear, you can keep the curls very defined as is, or you can comb her out gently for a very deep wave effect. She brushes the shoulders in length, and has a left side part. The lace front is very convincing and she has a double monofilament part.  Overall the fibers are nice and glossy, yet believable.  I can’t wait to play with her more and see if I can do some updos and side braids with her for versatility.

I do recommend her and I think her style is flattering for most people. Overall an 8/10.

What do you think of the Mila style? Would you wear it? Comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Links are affiliate

Products Shown:

Jon Renau Mila Synthetic Monofilament Wig (in the shade Toffee Truffle) //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=rosemariefit-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B076577WG1&asins=B076577WG1&linkId=564c88d10d01ceab32878c887e2208ff&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff

Jon Renau Wide Tooth Comb:

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Jon Renau Synthetic Hair Care Kit:

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Dating and Weight Loss

I want to talk about dating and weight loss. I plan to do a Youtube video on the subject but for now I want to just share some observations with you.

I gained most of my weight in my early to mid 20s. Prior to gaining weight, I never had any issues dating. There were always guys interested in me. However once I gained weight, going from 150-200 pounds and eventually up to 255, I found my dating prospects dwindling rapidly.

I was constantly reassured by people around me that guys are “jerks” for not liking me as I am, and that they’re just “shallow” for not being able to see what an amazing person I am. How dare they not be attracted to me, excess weight and all?!

Well fast forward a year and a half after bariatric surgery – and I must say it’s been an eye-opening experience.  As I put myself out there more and more, I have made the following observations (all based upon my OWN experience, yours may be different).

1. My dating pool gets larger and larger the closer I get to my goal weight.  Let’s be honest – when you’re heavy, like really heavy – the dating pool is smaller.  Men are coming at me left and right these days. Old flames from years ago are suddenly popping up in my Facebook Messenger with comments like, “Hey, you look good, what have you been up to?” Random men open doors for me now, I see them checking me out from across the room, and I turn more heads.  I am on a popular dating app called Tinder right now (as well as Bumble), and 95% of the time when I swipe YES (Right) on a man I find attractive they’ve already said YES to me.  What does this mean? More options. I can be more selective, and in turn I can raise my standards a little higher.
2. Guys don’t seem to care that I used to be big or that I had weight loss surgery (WLS).  Generally speaking, I’ve been on a lot of dates in the past year, and whenever I’ve told a man I had weight loss surgery – they’re not even bothered one bit by it. In fact, they’re super impressed I’ve taken control of my body and health and actually DONE something to help myself.  This was a surprise to me because I thought they’d be turned off or super judgmental about it, but not at all.  And mind you, these are guys who are usually in great shape themselves.
3. I have realized I can’t date an obese man.  This sounds terrible, but allow me to explain. I will GLADLY date someone who was formerly obese, or is obese and just had bariatric surgery, or is ACTIVELY in the process of losing weight and has already made great strides. However, if a man is obese, and lives a certain lifestyle – I cannot date him. Why? Because I am still a food addict! I may always be. If you are a recovering drug addict – would you date someone currently suffering from drug addiction? No way! No matter how strong you are, you are way more likely to fall back into your old ways if you surround yourself with someone who has an addiction that you once battled with. I am not strong enough, or emotionally equipped to take on the burden of helping someone who doesn’t want to be helped. Now if I met a man who was ALSO a bariatric patient, or who lost a ton of weight on their own and were keeping it off – I would absolutely date them… because we would be in a position to empower each other.  I haven’t met one yet (all the good ones seem taken – ahem Steve and Andre :), so the men who I have been dating after surgery have all been health and fitness oriented men.
4. I had some hangups after surgery about my skin and body.  Loose skin is a FACT when you’re losing a good amount of weight.  I have loose skin on my arms, belly, hips, legs, and my breasts were T R A G I C. Fortunately there is this wonderful thing called PLASTIC SURGERY, and my breasts were still heavy enough to be covered by insurance for a reduction – so I recently had those puppies done and it has made a WORLD of difference in my confidence.  I still have some issues with my belly, but the men I date know how far I have come and they seem accepting of me as-is. If it continues to bother me once I hit goal though I will likely go for a tummy tuck.
5. Sometimes I find myself still in that mindset of “you’re not worthy” around men that I date. When I was big, I was invisible to most guys. Sometimes, even though I know I look different, my mind hasn’t caught up with my body.  I often wonder “why does he like me? I’m not pretty or skinny enough. OMG his ex was thin! He won’t like me”.  I have fat brain. But then I’ll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror when I am running out of the door to a date and think ‘Wow girl you are BEAUTIFUL!!’ He’s lucky to date you!!!  I think this will slowly change as I get more accustomed to this new body.
6. When I reflect back on some of the relationships I had when I was at my heaviest weight, I cringe.  I honestly envy those big girls out there who found themselves a loving and accepting man, who even if they lost weight would stand by their side.  I never did have that. I had a couple of situationships when I was at my heaviest – and looking back they weren’t healthy.  I once dated a personal trainer/physical therapist (he was lean and totally ripped) – I met him on a BBW dating website. In hindsight I realized the reason he liked BBW women was because he wanted control over someone who had low self-esteem. Yes, he was sexually attracted to larger women – and that’s great – but he was an emotional and mental abuser.  Fortunately for me, I learned early on that he had a need for CONTROL, and I ran from that relationship and never looked back.  Just before I had bariatric surgery, I was involved with a man who looking back had sooo many red flags of compulsive lying behavior, but I was so starved for love and affection that I ignored the signs.  I devaluated myself in so many ways, because having felt invisible to men for so long I took whatever I could get.  It makes me really sad, but those experiences helped to mold me. Throughout this process I’ve learned so much about being a high value woman with standards – regardless of the size of my body.  I’m easy to lose now, and men like the ones I dated when I was at my heaviest fall to the wayside because my confidence and standards repel them.
7. Don’t make the mistake I did, of trying to date early on in your weight loss journey.  It’s a distraction. You know when you meet someone new, and you’re talking to each other ALL THE TIME? You’re maybe even seeing them all the time, going on dinner dates, or getting drinks. Keep sight of your goals, please.  Learn to take care of yourself FIRST.  Say NO to a date if you need to go to the gym. Go to dinner with a man but don’t let him persuade you to order dessert or cocktails when you’re close to meeting your calorie goal for the day.  Stay firm on your journey.  And if possible, wait until you’re closer to your goal weight before you start dating aggressively. I lost a bit of weight in the beginning and I was really starting to feel myself – and I put so much focus into dating that my weight loss ended up suffering.  I would’ve been further along in my journey now if it weren’t for the fact that I was still lonely and trying to fill that void with male attention. These days, I’ve learned to set boundaries and I will politely decline a date if it means I need to stay home and meal prep, or go for a walk, or get some sleep. Don’t let a man or budding relationship derail you from your routine.

Thanks for reading

X Rose